anti slap

on *:action:*:#: {
  if (slaps isin $1- ) || (hits isin $1- ) || (whacks isin $1- ) || (wacks isin $1- ) || (attacks isin $1- ) || (kicks isin $1- ) || (throws isin $1- ) && ( $me isin $1- ) {
    if ( $me isin $1- ) && ( %beat == off ) { set %beat $rand(1,8) }
    if ( $me isin $1- ) && ( %beat == 1 ) { describe # blocks $nick $+ 's attack and beats six shades of shit out of their pets | set %beat on | .timer 1 15 set %beat off | halt }
    elseif ( $me isin $1- ) && ( %beat == 2 ) { describe # drops dead on the ground | set %beat on | .timer 1 15 set %beat off | halt }
    elseif ( $me isin $1- ) && ( %beat == 3 ) { describe # ducks and takes aim with an M16 | set %beat on | .timer 1 15 set %beat off | halt }
    elseif ( $me isin $1- ) && ( %beat == 4 ) { describe # $replace( $1- , $me , $nick ) | set %beat on | .timer 1 15 set %beat off | halt }
    elseif ( $me isin $1- ) && ( %beat == 5 ) { describe # throws rocks at $nick | set %beat on | .timer 1 15 set %beat off | halt }   
    elseif ( $me isin $1- ) && ( %beat == 6 ) { describe # beats $nick like a red-headed step child | set %beat on | .timer 1 15 set %beat off | halt }
    elseif ( $me isin $1- ) && ( %beat == 7 ) { describe # gets up off the ground and roundhouse kicks $nick in the face | .timer 1 15 set %beat off | halt }
    elseif ( $me isin $1- ) && ( %beat == 8 ) { describe # does an evasive backflip and throws ninja stars at $nick  4,1 ¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ $nick 4,1 ¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ | .timer 1 15 set %beat off | halt }
  }
  else { halt }
}